


Can't Let Go

by gonzogrig



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Complicated Relationships, F/M, I Ship It, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Love Triangles, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Possessive Kylo Ren, Rey (Star Wars) is Nobody, Rey the frequently-unconcious-beauty, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Throne Room Scene, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, prince not-so-charming of Alderaan, this is so not healthy, why won't you be my empress Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22489930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonzogrig/pseuds/gonzogrig
Summary: When Kylo is the first to wake up in the throne room, he has no intention of letting Rey go. He's already killed Snoke for her, and now he's going to do whatever it takes to make her see that she belongs with him. Whatever it takes.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 38
Kudos: 141





	1. Waking

When he came to, she was still lying unconscious on the floor across from him. Kylo stood slowly, his body leaden and aching from the force collision. Yet, as his mind cleared, all sensations seemed to dissipate, replaced by a rage that consumed every cell of his being.

The last remnants of the red curtains still burned in piles around her body as he made his way across the throne room, stopping only once, to pick up the discarded restraints where they had been forgotten on the floor. Kneeling beside her, he used the force to keep her from waking as he cuffed her wrists. Behind him, he could hear the sound of footsteps approaching, then suddenly halt. 

"What happened?" Hux asked, his voice tight with horror at the death and destruction before him.

"The girl murdered Snoke," Kylo said, not bothering to face him, as he swept Rey up in a bridal carry. "I was able to subdue her, but I'm placing her in the holding cell until I decide what to do."

"Until you decide?!" The red-head spat, shaking with outrage. "We have no Supreme leader. What possible punishment short of dea-"

Hux's words were cut off mid-sentence as he was abruptly thrown across the room with a flick of Kylo's fingers. Without pausing to even acknowledge the man, now crumpled on the floor, he entered the elevator, deftly pressing the panel buttons without even adjusting his grip on the girl in his arms.

As the compartment descended, Kylo couldn't help but feel a sense of deja vu. There he was with Rey in his clutches, helpless once again, as he brought her to captivity. The ghastly symmetry of it wasn't lost on him as he recalled their first meeting. 

Kylo had already decided to take her with them before the Stormtrooper ever announced the arrival of Resistance forces, that day on Takodana. It should have been simple enough to pluck the map from her head then and there, but the idea of doing her quick and dirty in the middle of the forest repulsed him. At first glance she seemed to be nothing more than a lowly scavenger, a person of no consequence. Yet the fact that she had somehow obtained such valuable information suggested there was more to her below the surface. He had wanted the time and leisure to interrogate her, to plume any hidden depths and find not only what he needed, but what she was made of. 

She had stolen his droid, in a stolen freighter, under enemy fire, with the help of the recreant Stormtrooper, FN-2187; actions that suggested the reckless never-tell-me-the-odds bravado of a lawless rebel. Instead, he’d found a girl who seemed to have stumbled into the war, unawares, and was only just realizing her own rapidly changing significance. At the sight of him, she had both fought and fled, as if her instincts had been scrambled into a survival cocktail that demanded every reasonable response at once in the hope that at least one of them would work. It was clear even then that she was not the type to easily surrender. Futile as it was, he knew she would struggle against him and make him work to bend her to his will.

That she had made him chase her, this girl so far beneath him, had wet his appetite for the violence necessary to bring her to heel. Yet, long after they had been left alone in the interrogation room, he kept her insensible under his power as he stared at her, lying prostrate in the restraints. He had felt a deep satisfaction in her helplessness and his dominion over her. It was a return to the natural order, rectifying the aberrance of her escape and evasion from his troops and, by extension, his control. He had wanted to revel in the moment where everything was falling back into place, leaving him reluctant to wake her.

Now, as he laid her down on the metal slab that served as a bed in the holding cell, he felt like everything was falling apart. The moment she woke, there would be decisions to be made. Questions, he'd rather not know the answers to, that left him hesitant to rouse his sleeping beauty from her slumber.

Because she was beautiful. Strong and lean, but with skin like porcelain and bones so fine he wondered at how easily they might break in his hands. He itched to lay his hands on her, to feel her under his touch and put her in her place. He wasn’t prone to fantasies of that nature, but as his eyes roved over her with equal parts lust and scorn, he marveled at the effect she had on him.

She was utterly at his mercy and for once his mind couldn’t help but imagine the liberties he could take if he allowed himself the pleasure. He yearned to trace his fingers over the line of her collar bone, following it under her tunic, and to test the softness of her lips against his. He was almost tempted to wake her, in true fairy tale fashion, with a kiss, like a dark and unwelcome prince; at once both hero and monster.

Somehow, he doubted she’d ever entertained similar fantasies; he was hardly the kind of man she would dream about. If anything, he was the stuff of her nightmares. Yet, that would have been enough for him if it meant he was in her head.

He had wanted her to join him, to willingly stand by his side. He would have given her everything if she had just given herself to him, to the darkness in herself. It was there; he'd seen it, seen her fight against it. All that time she’d hidden away with Luke, trying to revive a dead order that was better left buried and forgotten, he had felt the war within her. Even as she had tried to embrace the light, she had been drawn irrevocably to the dark. That was why she kept coming back to him, through the force. Snoke may have bridged their minds, but Rey was the one who had reached out to him. She had convinced herself it was to save him, but Kylo knew better. When their hands touched, he’d seen her beside him, not as his savior but as his consort. She’d turn, and finally see the power she could wield, that he could give her. He would make her see that. 

After all they had been through and all he had done for her, he couldn’t let her go. He had wanted her to choose him, to let him take her under his wing, but if he couldn’t have that, he would take her in whatever way he could. 

As he hovered over her sleeping form, one hand on either side of her head, Kylo leaned closer until he could feel her breath brush across his face. He stared at her, as if trying to commit every curve and freckle to memory, as he slowly let go of his hold on her consciousness.

Rey's eyes shot open in a rush of adrenaline. With a sudden violence, she fisted Kylo's clothes, wrenching him off the bed as she threw her body against him. By the time he had the sense to react, they had both landed on the floor with a thud. Yet, with her hands still bound together, Rey struggled to get any leverage on him without the benefit of surprise. Though her hands and feet flew, kicking and scratching with abandon, it was mere moments before Kylo managed to pin her, wresting her wrists above her head as his knees dug into her legs.

"Enough," he said, panting softly as his heart pounded in his chest. "Where do you think you're going to go?"

At that, her movements seemed to slow, though she continued to try and twist out of his grasp. Turning her head to take in her surroundings, Rey’s eyes widened with the dawning realization that she was trapped. With one hand still pinning her wrists, Kylo used the other to turn her head back to meet his gaze.

"Why didn't you just take my hand?" He asked, his voice soft and weary with heartbreak.

"Why didn't you just kill me?" She parried, staring at him with eyes like flint. 

"Who says I'm not going to," he said, finally releasing her as he pushed himself off the cold floor.

He paced the small room, his rage radiating off of him in waves as Rey righted herself on the floor, leaning back against the jutting metal of the bed. He could feel her eyes on him, fearfully assessing him like a feral animal that might turn on her at any moment. 

"You're not," she said, her voice quavering slightly. Then, almost imperceptibly, her face softened as she watched him, lips parting for a sharp, silent intake of breath.

“Ben…” she said, the name a whisper on her tongue, filled with a longing that seemed to rip through the air to his very core.

At that, he spun around to face her, his hand rising to clench the air. Just as suddenly, Rey felt herself being pulled to her feet with the force as her windpipe constricted under nothing. Her hands went up instinctively to grasp her throat, though her mind knew it was useless. 

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," he said viciously, overwhelmed by a blind fury that flooded his mind and set fire to his veins. That she would dare to call him by that name after what she’d done…it was unconscionable. He would show her who and what he was. Not the weak boy, Ben, but the monster; master of the Knights of Ren.

Yet, as he held her aloft, he could feel her wielding the force against him. She trembled in mid-air, loosening his grip and fighting against his control. She let out a gasp as he faltered, air rushing to fill her lungs and increasing her flagging strength. Kylo strained against her power, desperately trying to maintain his hold before finally giving way, to let her fall to the ground.

Though she landed on her feet, Rey tumbled back onto the bed, unable to find her balance with her hands still bound. A few feet away, Kylo stood seething as he watched her catch her breath. It wasn’t the first time she’d proven her power was a match for his own, and each time left him more unmoored than the last. 

He had been trained since childhood in the ways of the force, first by Luke, then Snoke. He was, by rights, a prince of Alderaan, with Darth Vader’s blood in his veins and now, with his master gone, Kylo was left as heir apparent to the First Order. Yet, his equal was nothing more than an orphaned scavenger. A girl of no birth and no training, save what little Luke may have divulged in her brief time with him. She came from nothing but somehow possessed enough raw, untrammeled power to rebuff him at every turn.

It only made him want her more.

He first dreamt of her after their fight on the Starkiller base. Hux had found him moments before the planet collapsed, bleeding into the snow, his face slit and shoulder pierced. He couldn't get to his quarters fast enough, once the med techs had patched him up, desperate to escape from the silent judgement that bled into every look, every word from those under his command. He felt as if he was going to suffocate under the shame of his failure.

It took him hours to finally find a restive sleep, only to discover her lying in wait for him. Once again, they were in the forest surrounding Starkiller base, but this time they were alone and he could not feel the cold of the snow at his feet. She stood out of reach on the other side of the chasm in the wood, ethereal and haunting in white, her face lit by the glow of his uncle's lightsaber. She stood still for a brief moment before charging forward, as if to jump over the fissure, only to have the ground beneath her shift, rapidly jutting out to bridge the distance between them. 

As so often happened in his dreams, he found his feet unwilling and unable to move. He could only stand and wait to defend himself from her attack, raising his lightsaber to stop the arc of her own against him. His spine arched back and his knees bent from the force of the blow, but he quickly leveraged his height to press her into a defensive crouch before she broke away. 

Slowly, they circled each other, like two wolves biding their time before the fight. Hours and seconds had assumed that nebulous quality of dreams where they became indistinguishable from each other, making it impossible to discern whether Rey was moving fast or slow when she launched her assault. Instinctively, he wielded the force in response, throwing her across the wood until she collided with a tree and crashed down to the ground.

He strode over unhurriedly to where she lay motionless in the snow. She was utterly defenseless, yet rather than make the killing strike, he found himself kneeling down beside her. Looking at her, so still and half hidden in shadow, he felt overcome by an unexpected surge of possessiveness. He didn't want to destroy her. He wanted to protect her. To control her. To keep her for himself. To have and to rule her. He wanted to hold on and never let go.

Pulling her into his lap, he cradled her head gently in his arm as he leaned down, his lips parting before-

He woke up with a start, perspiration beading his skin. Discovering the damp patch in his sheets, he let out a short laugh. It had been some time since anyone had that effect on him and he couldn't help but appreciate the irony; she'd come just short of killing him and he'd never been more aroused.

He couldn't have imagined then what was in store for him. What she would do to him, what she would make him do for her...

Standing in the holding cell now, with her sitting within reach, Kylo resisted the urge to close the distance between them again. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, to invade her mind until he could discover why she continued to lie to herself and pretend she wasn't exactly where she was meant to be. But he knew she would only fight him again. They were too evenly matched for him to overpower her. 

She would resist and repel him until they were right back where they started, at odds against each other; an unstoppable force and an immovable object. She was still holding on to legends and fantasies of what never was; a Jedi order she could believe in. Be a part of. She was fighting so desperately to belong to something, she couldn't see that she belonged with him.

"So, I suppose this is how it's going to be now," Rey said, her voice rasping slightly. 

His heart lurched at the sound, her despair palpable and breathtaking in its breadth. She avoided his gaze, keeping her eyes downcast, but he could still see the glisten of tears running down her cheek.

"It didn't have to be," he said. "It still doesn't."

He didn’t dare breathe in that moment, waiting for her to answer. Feeling very much like the boy he had tried so hard to bury, he stood frozen with fear and a desperate stab of hope, staring at her in expectation. With a word from her, he was ready to burn down empires. He would reorder the galaxy, turn the universe upside down. 

If she joined him.

If she would only stay. 

He would do it all for her if she would just tell him it didn’t have to go this way. 

"Yes it does."

The words rang in his ears like a death knell. If he could have torn the room to shreds with his bare hands, it still would not have been enough to relieve the storm that roiled within him. Yet, on the outside he was nothing but icy composure. He had not come so far only to yield now. He had gotten the answer he needed, but the question had never been whether she would realize that the place she was looking for was at his side. The question was how far he would have to go to make her see that.

"We'll see," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, this is gonna be one messed up ride. For the moment, I think the M rating covers all my bases, but that could easily be subject to change. I'll say right now, it's unlikely to ever go into straight up non-con territory, but the whole holding-Rey-Prisoner thing is probably going to make things complicated, to say the least. Here's hoping you're willing to stick around to see how it goes.


	2. The Dungeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had become intimately acquainted with her cell after Kylo stormed out and, with nothing but four walls to stare at, it was hard for her to think of anything but him...

Rey had become intimately acquainted with her cell. It was luxurious as far as prisons went; she had walked along the walls, heel-to-toe, to measure it. At eight by ten feet, it was larger than the average holding cell, yet there was only a single slab-like bed, meaning it was designed for one. She suspected he’d placed her in the block for political prisoners, who apparently deigned better accommodations than the average jail bird.

It was almost flattering.

Without any way to count the hours, she couldn’t be sure how much time had passed since Kylo had stormed out. The best she could do was guess based on the number of meals. Assuming they weren’t sending them at odd hours to throw her off, it must have been eight standard days since he left her there. She’d figured out how to undo her restraints relatively quickly, but the door had proved invulnerable to the Jedi tricks she knew, despite several hours’ examination. 

This hadn’t fazed her at first; she had assumed someone would be sent to her eventually; to bring her food or try to execute her. She knew from experience that she could use force suggestion to persuade them to let her out.

It was only when a panel in the wall popped open to reveal her first meal that she began to worry. The automated system pushed out her tray, revealing a steaming plate, complete with meat and greens, some of which she actually recognized. They meant to keep her healthy and well-fed, but they also apparently knew better than to send anyone in her orbit to make the delivery. She wasn’t simply in prison. She was in solitary confinement. That was when Rey realized she was truly trapped.

She had been preoccupied with plans of escape until then, but once the reality of her situation sunk in, her thoughts immediately turned to her friends. Rey had left the binary tracker with Chewie, so she could only hope he’d been able to find Leia and whatever was left of the Resistance forces. Assuming there was anything left.

The last she’d seen of the fleet, they were being methodically picked off by the First Order en route to a nearby planet she didn’t even know the name of. It would have been a small miracle if they managed to make landfall, let alone escape pursuit.

She felt a stab of heartbreak all over again at the memory, the wound of it still too fresh to tamp down. For one brilliant moment, she’d thought he might save them. She’d let herself believe that she’d saved him...

Rey shook her head, as if the motion might dislodge her train of thought. She couldn’t allow herself to dwell on things she couldn’t change. Yet, stuck with nothing but four walls to stare at, it was hard to avoid sinking into self-pity. She had nothing to distract her and no inkling of what might be in store for her.

It seemed unlikely he would have locked her up, just to kill her later, but it wasn’t impossible. With their leader dead, the First Order was likely in disarray. She would make a convenient scape goat if he wanted to lay the blame somewhere and make an example of someone. A public execution would be a simple, yet effective, assertion of power, that had the potential to help unify the Order under a new leader.

Yet, Rey doubted that was what he had in mind.

Much like the last time she’d been his prisoner, Rey had woken up in restraints to find Ben staring at her, but while his interrogation on Star Killer had been predatory, as he slowly closed the distance between them before invading her mind, this time it had been...almost intimate.

Though he had crowded and overwhelmed her with his presence rather than give her even a moment to adjust upon waking, he hadn’t actually been touching her; a point she didn’t even realize until after the fact. She had reacted by reflex and attacked, forcing him onto the defensive. It was a natural response that she couldn’t fault herself for, given the circumstances, but with nothing to do with herself but wonder what lay ahead and recall what had been, she couldn’t help but imagine what might have transpired if she had stayed calm and still instead.

Would he have remained where he was, a hairs breadth away from holding her in his arms? He had hovered over her, as if he was lying in wait for her to wake before he made his move. As if he had wanted to give her one more chance to choose. If she had just stayed still beneath him, and let him close the distance between them, let him put his lips on hers, it might have all turned out differently. If she had played the lover instead of the adversary, perhaps he would have listened to reason. Perhaps she would have been able to tame the monster in him.

She had felt the heat of his body radiating just above her own, and in the split second before she went into motion, Rey had seen his gaze lock on her lips. She had never been an object of desire before, and in all her life she had never been more terrified.

Despite all the ways he was still a boy, desperately trying to prove himself, in this way he was very much a man. She could feel him hunger for her with an appetite that seemed to know no bounds; he wanted to devour her, body and soul. Yet, what scared her most was that she was tempted to let him.

She had chosen to fight him, again and again, but not because she didn’t want him. He made her heart race every time he looked at her. No one had ever known her so completely, had made her feel as seen as he had. He saw the parts of her that she tried so hard to bury and called to them. Yet, that was where the danger lay. She feared what he might awaken in her, if she dared to let him.

Rey knew there was something dark and dormant within her, that yearned for release; a spring of anger and pain that had welled up in the deepest recesses of her self, after so many years alone. In the daily struggle to survive, she had pressed it down, ignored it in favor of a hope she had no reason to cherish, that her family would come back for her. Her conviction that there had been a reason she’d been left on a desert planet with nothing and no one, that she hadn’t simply been abandoned, rested on little more than the wishful thinking of a girl who needed something to live for. Without knowing it, Rey had kept her own darkness at bay and turned toward the light for a lifeline, looking for the good in everything if only to make the world she knew a little more bearable.

She had chosen that path by making a thousand small decisions about what she would allow to occupy her thoughts day in and day out, but whatever those choices had made of her, they had not eliminated the path she might have taken; the one that urged her toward the dark. The one he now urged her towards.

She knew how easy it would be to give in to him. Her bones ached from the effort it took to keep going. She couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t had to struggle towards the next day, either scavenging through the sand or fighting for her life. In that way, war was nothing new to her; just another kind of struggle.  
If he had his way though, she would already be sitting on a throne, wanting for nothing. After so many years of subsistence, the idea of not just enough, but more, was difficult for her to fathom. Yet, the power he had offered, was offering, she understood far more clearly. He had asked her to join him so they could bring a new order to the galaxy. What he failed to mention was that that order began with her.

He would give her power, but only so long as she obeyed him, just as he would place her on a throne, if only so she would kneel to no one else. Rey knew how quickly she might lose herself under his thrall, how entirely he would attempt to possess her. He wouldn’t rest until there was nothing left of her beyond his grasp.

Rey couldn’t and wouldn’t allow herself to be reduced to a mere object, to be owned and petted like a plaything. For all her yearning to belong, she wasn’t going to settle for the sick shadow of love he had to give. And he couldn’t make her.

At least that’s what she told herself.

For as much as she wanted to believe in her own fortitude, Rey couldn’t ignore the doubts in the back of her mind, wondering how much longer she could bear to deny him. He made it so difficult...

The way he looked at her.

The way he touched her.

The way he wanted to touch her.

It was as if he already knew every inch of her by heart. As if she was as familiar to him as his own skin. And in a way she was.

They had become a part of each other, tethered by their force connection even as they fought against it...as she fought against it. After Snoke confessed to engineering their bond, Rey had assumed it would wither away without his interference. Instead, it had thrived, leaving them constantly on the edge of each other’s consciousness.

Though she hadn’t seen him in days, Rey could still feel him as though he was standing beside her. His rage and frustration emanated in waves, punctuated by a lust for control that left her breathless. His presence seemed to dominate every crevice of the ship, overwhelming every other being until she could sense nothing else in the force but him. She was drawn to him as if by a current that threatened to swallow her up. Rey wished she could pull away, not wanting to taste the darkness in him that seeped across their bond, but the only other option was to close herself off from the force entirely.

To do so, and compound her isolation by losing the one connection she had, leaving her with nothing but four walls and the very real possibility that the reason she couldn’t feel anyone else was because Finn and Leia and the rest were already gone...the prospect was unbearable. Instead, she clung to the feel of him, even as it hurt.

By the time she heard the distinctive click of bolts sliding out of place, Rey didn’t know whether to cry in anger or relief. It had been eight days since she had seen another soul; long enough that her sanity was just beginning to fray. He had left her there on purpose, to stew in her own fear and loneliness until she was desperate for some kind of genuine contact, no matter what form. It was an attempt to make her pliable; to tenderize her for the ploy he no doubt had in mind.

And it had worked.

The moment he entered the room, she felt her heart lurch in her chest, though on the surface she maintained a stony façade. She wanted to hit him. She wanted to hold him. Wanted him to hold her and tell her it had all been a mistake. Instead, she merely sat up to face him.

“Come to check on your guest,” she bit out, leveling him with a glare.

Rey watched the corner of his mouth tip slightly upwards in the barest hint of a smile as he stood just inside the doorway, and she was struck by just how majestic he looked. Between his height, barrel chest and broad shoulders, he drew an imposing figure, but somehow his cape lent him an air of gallantry, as if he might suddenly bend in a courtly bow before whisking her away somewhere. It reminded her of the stories she’d sometimes heard as a child, of princes rescuing damsels from dungeons. She’d always thought they were a silly bunch of rubbish. Now, it seemed oddly fitting that in reality it was the prince who had locked her up in the first place.

“I want to show you something,” he said, his voice soft but resonant.

“I suppose I don’t have much say in the matter, do I?” she asked.

“Would you rather stay here?” he replied

**************************************

Rey was tempted to roll her eyes as they walked down the corridor flanked by two sets of Stormtroopers on either side. No one had ever accused the First Order of being lax when it came to security, but there seemed to be something faintly ridiculous about their abundance of caution. In spite of all that she’d done, it was still difficult for her to take herself seriously as someone powerful enough to warrant such measures. 

“Will you at least tell me where we’re going?” she asked

Though he said nothing, she could feel something had changed in him. Underneath the unending turbulence of his emotions, there was a restrained excitement that threatened to break through. He knew something she didn’t, and that alone was enough to frighten her.

Finally, they stopped in front of a set of doors. As one set of Stormtroopers arranged themselves at the entrance, Rey heard the now familiar crackle of Kylo’s lightsaber igniting. They locked eyes as he raised it slowly to her throat, holding it just close enough to make the threat of it clear without singeing her skin. They stood like that in silence until, satisfied that she had gotten the message, he turned his head to nod at the Stormtrooper stationed by the door. At his signal, the doors opened to reveal an interrogation room. The poor lighting made it difficult to see clearly, but Rey was able to recognize the table at the center. And who was on it.

“FINN,” she screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm a monster. Have patience and all will be revealed in good time. Comments and criticism are always welcome


	3. Fools Rush In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo had known from the beginning that he wouldn’t be able to hold her indefinitely. He had needed to find leverage, but it had never occurred to him that what he needed might come right to him.

“Don’t move,” Kylo said, his voice almost gentle as he held his lightsaber aloft, barring her from the interrogation room. 

He watched as Rey wavered in place, her muscles tensing as she visibly restrained herself, no doubt resisting the urge to start swinging at everyone and everything in her path. Even without the force, he could have read her like a book. Each emotion played across her face as clearly as a beacon. 

Panic. 

Distress.

Tenderness.

The concern etched in her eyes said everything he needed to know. FN2187 was a traitor. A defective cog in the First Orders engine. But, he was someone she cared for, perhaps even more than she cared for herself. Kylo had to consciously squash the sudden flood of envy as he saw the way she looked at him. He could see this was someone she couldn’t bear to lose. Someone she would give anything to save.

And that was exactly what he was counting on.

Rey tore her eyes away from her friend as if it pained her to lose sight of him, even for a moment. When she met Kylo’s gaze, her own glassy and on the verge of tears, he marveled at how quickly rage transformed her features. Any remnants of the softness from moments ago were quickly extinguished, replaced by a steeliness that should have sent a shiver down his spine, rather than the thrill of excitement, like electricity coursing through his veins.

She wanted to kill him. He could feel it, just as clearly as when he’d held her captive at Starkiller base. So much had changed since then, but it had all brought them right back to where they started, with her hating the very sight of him. Though he had taken off the mask, she still saw only the creature hunting her. Not the boy begging…

He had saved her life and betrayed his master in one fell swoop. He stood in front of her with nothing but a naked plea for her to join him. Somehow it still wasn’t enough. She wanted nothing short of the impossible, for him to turn back to the light, and then blamed him when he couldn’t deliver. She had backed him into a corner until he had no choice but to play the villain.

If that was the only part she’d have him play, he was more than willing to live up to her expectations. He had warned her from the beginning that he could take whatever he wanted. She couldn’t deny him any more than she could deny their connection. If she refused to come willingly, he wasn’t above forcing her hand. If anything, she had brought it on herself. 

“What did you do to him?” Rey asked, voice shaking.

“What had to be done,” Kylo said evenly. 

“Torture,” she spat.

“Interrogation,” he corrected. “Nothing he won’t recover from.”

“Let him go,” she said. “It’s me you want. Finn’s no use to you.”

“Oh, I’d say he’s been very useful,” Kylo said. 

FN1287 had helped solve the mystery, after all, of how the Resistance had managed to escape him. Kylo’s forces had them surrounded in a salt mine on Crait, with only one door. They had no reinforcements and no exit. There was nothing left in their arsenal but Jedi tricks and he’d been fool enough to fall for them. He had let himself be distracted, and when he finally laid siege to the mine, it had been empty. He never would have figured out how they had done it without the traitor. Kylo had looked through his memories until he found the answer.

He should have known it would have been his mother.

The force had always been strong with the Skywalkers. Including her. Though she had chosen a different path than her brother, she had been trained to use it nonetheless. So, when the Resistance found a hidden exit, blocked by nothing but a pile of rocks, the General had been more than capable of removing them.

He should have killed her when he had the chance.

It was no matter now though. All that mattered was Rey. She was here. With him. And he was going to make sure she stayed. He had known from the beginning that he wouldn’t be able to hold her indefinitely. He made sure she was kept in isolation, to prevent a repeat of her last escape from him, but that was intended to buy time more than anything else. He had needed to find leverage, something to tie her to him. With Rey’s loyalties wholly with the Resistance and their doomed cause, he knew they were the key to making her turn. He had nearly despaired when their forces had slipped from his grasp on Crait. It had never occurred to him that what he needed might come right to him.

“Don’t you want to know how he got here?” Kylo asked. “He was trying to save you.”

Rey’s face fell as if he had punched her. Her mouth dropped open ever so slightly with a soft gasp, just above a whisper, as her eyes darted back to her friend.

Kylo deactivated his lightsaber, holstering it at his side as he took a step closer, positioning himself directly in front of her and blocking her view of the interrogation room. Rather than shifting her gaze back to him though, she turned her eyes downcast, as if she knew he wanted her to look at him and refused to give him the satisfaction. They were close enough to touch, but he steeled himself against the impulse, linking his hands behind his back instead. 

“He stowed away on a cargo ship delivering material for repairs. Thought he could slip in unnoticed and hack into our control room,” Kylo said. “He didn’t even make it out of the hangar before we found him. It was a fool’s errand from the start.”

Rey’s eyelid twitched as she pressed her lips together into a thin line, nostrils flaring with barely controlled outrage. Her eyes flitted over the Stormtroopers surrounding them, her mind so obviously racing to assess her chances against them. She was itching for a fight, desperate to find a weakness she might exploit, and unwilling to accept that her only choice was surrender. 

The hair that was usually pulled back had come undone, and fell loosely around her face. A few errant strands brushed against her cheek, and Kylo found himself tempted to push them back behind her ear. The urge bordered on irresistible, knowing that there was so little she could do to stop him. Yet, instead, his hand reached out suddenly to grip her chin roughly between his thumb and forefinger, lifting it to force her gaze up to meet his own.

“What is it that makes men fools for you?” he said, his voice almost a hiss as his fingers dug into her skin. 

He was angry at her for making him feel this way. After spending the better part of his life disentangling and learning to insulate himself from attachments, she had shown up and reduced him to a lovesick boy fighting for her attention. To be left competing for her, against someone so beneath him, only added insult to injury. How could someone so much lesser have any claim on her heart? The traitor was nothing more than a drudge, even on his best day, with no power or purpose beyond following the orders of those in command. Kylo’s command. Yet, for all the differences between them, both had been left tripping over themselves for her. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, struggling to look anywhere but at him.

“Now you’re just lying to yourself,” he sneered, as he released her face only to grab her wrists. 

“You two, lock him up,” he said, pointing at the Stormtroopers stationed by the door. “The rest of you, come with me.”

His long strides made it difficult for Rey to keep up, forcing her to scurry in order to avoid being dragged down the hall, but he paid it no mind. Rey followed silently as he pulled her along, and Kylo continued his pace unabated until they arrived at his destination. He pushed Rey into her cell before following her inside.

The door closed behind him, and they were finally alone.

“If I leave you here, no one else will come for you,” he said calmly. “The Resistance may be alive, but they they’ll need every last sentient being they have left if they want to survive, and they’re not about to waste a single one of them on a second doomed escape plan. At my word, your would-be rescuer will be executed and you’ll have to sit and watch as his head is separated from his shoulders while I broadcast a holo of it across the galaxy, for your precious Resistance to see for themselves.”

Though he hadn’t advanced on her, Rey had slowly walked backwards as he spoke, until her legs hit the frame of her slab-like bed and she collapsed backwards onto it. The color had drained from her face as her creeping sense of terror bled through their bond. He knew she felt every bit like the trapped animal she was; helpless, hopeless and completely as his mercy.

He finally had her exactly where he wanted her to be.

“Or…” he said, pausing long enough to send her mind reeling in anticipation. “You could come with me.”

Though her eyes widened slightly, Rey’s face remained otherwise emotionless as she processed his words. However, the force belied her stoic demeanor, telegraphing her fear and panic to him as loudly as a siren while she considered the weight of his offer. 

She knew exactly what he was asking. For her to follow and submit to his command. To stand at his side and do his bidding. To give up her will, if not her self, for him to possess. 

“And if I did,” she said, her voice warbling with emotion. “What would happen to Finn?”

“He’ll be locked up, safe and sound. No harm will come to him,” he said. “As long as you’re with me.”

“Do I even have a choice?” she asked.

“You always have a choice,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little short, I know, but now it's finally going to get interesting. Comments and criticism are always welcome


	4. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had to see Finn one more time.

“Make it quick,” Kylo said brusquely, before shutting the door behind him.

She didn’t waste a moment before rushing to Finn’s side, nearly tripping in her haste, as she went to kneel at his bedside. He had shifted his head at the sound of her entrance, revealing an ashen face and chapped lips, but his eyes brightened as he recognized his friend.

“Rey!” he exclaimed, as he sat up, wrapping his arms around her.

She returned his embrace without hesitation, gripping him tightly, as if she might be able to keep him safe so long as she didn’t let go. It was a moment she wanted to make last forever.

“What were you thinking?” she muttered into his shoulder, on the verge of tears. “You could have been killed!”

“But I wasn’t. I’m still very much alive,” he replied, pushing her away just far enough so he could look her in the eye. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” she said, brushing him off. He could barely sit up, and there he was asking if she was alright. She could see the stiffness in his body that betrayed the pain he was in, as well as the dark bruise blossoming on his cheek. She had done this to him, as surely as if it had been her own hands. She had brought him into harm’s way, and now she was responsible for whatever happened to him.

“You never should have come here,” she said.

“Chewie told us where you were; I couldn’t just leave you,” he said fiercely

“He’s alright? Did he find Leia?” she asked, feeling a rush of hope that if they had survived thus far, maybe they could all still get out of the mess they were in alive. “What happened to the Resistance?”

“Yes, he found her with the binary tracker after you…” he trailed off, struggling for the right words. “After you left. It’s a long story, but he was able to pick up what’s left of the General’s forces and get them to safety.” 

Though she breathed a sigh of relief, it was tempered by unease as she saw the question in Finn’s eye. He didn’t know why she had left Ahch-To, or if he did, he didn’t understand. His jaw worked, as if his mouth was having difficulty with what he wanted to say, and she could feel his anxiety and confusion ebbing off of him, through the force.

“How did you even get in here?” he asked. “Did Skywalker teach you some kind of mind trick?”

“No, no tricks,” she said. “I told Kylo he had to let me see you myself. As part of our deal.”

“What deal? What are you talking about?”

Rey dropped her gaze, pressing her lips together as she tried to find the words to explain. She hadn’t seen Finn in so long, she didn’t know where to even begin. The last time they had both been together was outside Starkiller base. How could she possibly make him understand what had happened since then when she could barely grasp it herself?

“Ben, I mean Kylo…” she said haltingly. “He wants my help with something. I don’t know what exactly. He won’t tell me yet, but he said if I help him, he won’t hurt you.”

“Help him? Rey, I don’t understand but whatever is going on, you can’t do that. Not for me,” he said. “I knew the risks when I came here.”

“You barely survived after…” she said, her voice trailing off as a lump formed in her throat at the memory of his motionless body lying in the snow. “I can’t just let them kill you now. I won’t. Not when I can stop them.”

“I left the First Order because I saw what they were doing and I didn’t want to be a part of it. I couldn’t live with that on my conscience. At first, I thought it was enough to get as far away from them as possible, but then I realized I couldn’t just wash my hands of it all. It’s bigger than me,” he said. “I realized that if I didn’t fight, I was just as complicit as I’d been with a blaster in my hands. I know now that anything less enables them. And now, after everything I’ve done, you’re telling me it’s been for nothing?” 

“That’s not what-“

“Yes, it is Rey!” he said, cutting her off. “I don’t know what he wants you to do, but if you’re actively helping him because of me, then I might as well have stayed a Stormtrooper. At least then the blood on my hands wouldn’t have included yours.”

Rey was stunned into silence as she sat on her heels. Though she had expected him to try and talk her out of it, she hadn’t been prepared for questions of moral accountability. The last time she had seen him conscious, Finn’s interest in the Resistance had been limited, if not quite hostile. It was a dramatic change to see him now, evangelizing against complicity. So much had changed for her in the time they had been apart, but it hadn’t occurred to her until then, that perhaps things had changed for Finn as well. 

Somewhere along the way, his universe had expanded, while hers’ had shrunk until it included no more than a handful of people; Rey’s concerns extended no farther than whether her actions might endanger him, Leia, or Chewie. Yet, the reality was that her choices would reverberate across the galaxy, affecting all those under the First Order’s thrall, as well as those resisting their influence. There was far more than just Finn’s life at stake. 

“Don’t do this,” Finn said. “I know how these people work, what they’re capable of. Whatever it is he wants from you, I’m telling you, giving it to him will eat you up from the inside out.” 

If only he knew.

Rey wanted to tell Finn everything. How alone she’d been on Ahch-To without him, as she’d desperately tried to wrest answers out of Luke. She had gone there for his help, for the Resistance, but also for herself. She had thought he’d be able to explain why she’d been able to wield the force without knowing how, and why she’d seen the island in her dreams on Jakku. She’d hoped he’d recognize something in her, something that might explain where she’d come from and what she was supposed to do. Instead, he had been nothing but a disappointment. The legend had become a frightened old man, too guilt-ridden to do anything but sulk and hide from the mess he had created. She had been desperate for guidance, but Luke had done nothing but shut her down and shut her out. Without knowing it, he had left Rey vulnerable against someone willing to reach out and let her in. Even if he was her enemy.

She’d been frightened at first. And angry. When their connection began, she could only see red; Kylo was the monster who’d held her captive, a beast who killed in cold blood. For him to be suddenly forced on her, invading with his presence without warning, was intolerable. Though he had been in her head before, it had been different; an assault she could brave and buck against. On Ahch-To though, he appeared in her minds eye and was impossible to escape or evade. 

However, even as she treated him like the unwanted intruder he was, he regarded her as no more than a curiosity. Even a welcome one. For all her venom, he never returned it in kind, never fought back or made denials. She’d been prepared for anything but that. In fact, everything about Ben was a surprise. The softness of his voice. The wry twist of his mouth. His earnestness and pain. The loneliness in him that mirrored her own. It unnerved her to find that the monster she knew was little more than a broken boy. One who could still be put back together.

At least, that was what she’d let herself believe.

That was the thing that would eat at her for the rest of her days. Her stupid, foolish hope that what she wanted might ever be real. Nothing she did could possibly cause her more misery than her wishful thinking had already earned her.

In the throne room, she had looked at Ben, after the guards had been dispatched, in shock from the thrill of victory against all odds. It was the briefest interlude, where Rey had thought they were on the same side. They had fought together, rather than against each other, for the first time. They had been as in sync as if they had been made for that purpose alone, each fighting less for their own survival, than to protect one another. 

Once she recalled the fleet struggling to survive just within sight, it didn’t occur to her that he might consider anything besides saving them. Not until she saw his face. She’d been so sure that when he chose her over Snoke, it meant he had chosen to turn back to the light. In reality, he’d done nothing of the kind. 

If anything, he had chosen to put himself, his fears and desires, above any cause he might have sworn loyalty to. He was willing to use any means necessary to get what he wanted. What he wanted just happened to be her. For all her good intentions, Rey hadn’t just failed to turn him. She’d helped lead him even further into the dark.

The damage was already done, whether she helped him now or not.

She leaned in to hold Finn close once again, and felt the warmth of his body spreading to her own. She rested a cheek on his shoulder, wanting to soak up every bit that she could. Though she knew the feel of it would fade as soon as they parted, she needed something of him she could take with her when she left his cell. Even if it was only the memory of a feeling.

He was the one bright spot in her life. In one way or another, everyone she’d ever known had abandoned or abused her, except for him. Again, and again, he risked everything for her, expecting nothing in return. Though he’d never said the words, she could feel how much he loved her. It was something so pure and unselfish, she couldn’t believe she deserved it. 

She wanted to be the kind of woman who could. Someone strong and brave, like Leia, who knew exactly how to do what needed to be done. The kind of person who could master herself in the face of impossible choices and make the necessary sacrifices. She wanted to be that person so desperately…

“You’re right Finn,” she whispered in his ear. “I know you are, but I just can’t lose you.”

She pulled away before he had time to process what she had said, and saw the look of surprise and betrayal on his face as she moved towards the door.

“Rey, don’t,” he said, his voice a strangled cry as he tried to push himself to his feet, despite the pain.

Rey banged her forearm against the door twice, and it opened almost instantly, revealing a pair of Stormtroopers standing just outside, in wait for her. 

“I’ll get you out somehow,” she said, the words falling out of her mouth quickly as she steeled herself to leave him, not knowing if or when she might see him again. “I love you.”

She stepped out the door without looking back, even as she heard him screaming her name. The door shut behind her with a familiar whooshing sound, followed by the click of locks snapping back into to place. Though it muffled the sound, she could still make out his voice calling out to her.

She really did love Finn, as much as she had ever loved anyone, but she did so selfishly, which wasn’t so much love as need. She needed him too much to ever give him up or let him go. She didn’t care what cost she had to pay or what she had to do. It didn’t matter, so long as she could save him.

One Stormtrooper placed the restraints back on her wrists and pushed her forward, so she was walking ahead of him, the gun trained on her back. The other, walking in front, led the way as they navigated through the maze of corridors to the elevator. They took it down to the hangar, where they found varying ranks of First Order crew and officials preparing a large black command shuttle.

Ben stood near the entrance of the ship, deep in discussion with someone wearing the high polished boots and fitted jacket of an officer high in the chain of command. However, as soon as she neared, he dismissed the officer with a word, his eyes locking on her own.

The Stormtoopers had adjusted their formation, to flank her on either side, as they marched Rey towards the ship. Neither said a word as they deposited her in front of the Supreme Leader, only nodding in acknowledgement as Ben waved them away without taking his eyes off her.

Dressed as ever, in the billowing black cape she had come to know so well, he was like a dark looming tower, forcing her to crane her neck to look up at him. Somehow though, it didn’t make her feel small. She was too resigned to be intimidated. He had already won, so there was nothing more for her to fear.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did somebody say love triangle?!! and where is Ben taking her? What does he need Rey's help with??? I guess you'll just have to wait and see :)
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long. It was really hard to get right. Hopefully, I'll be a little faster next time. Stay tuned


End file.
